tomorrow is the day!

Tomorrow...
We get to see firsthand our miracle babies that the Lord has carried through these past 32 weeks. We get to witness His faithfulness and His ALWAYS good and just ways, because of who He is, and not because of what He's done for us. We get to see a chapter close on one part of our journey, one very scary, but faith filled chapter, and allow the Lord to work through the next chapter. We get to look back and say "See what the Lord has done for us" and thank Him for his love and faithfulness that we so do not deserve. We get to hold on to His promises when it may seem difficult or unbearable, and remember how far He has already brought us.

I still can't believe we get to meet our baby girls in less than 24 hours. The past 2 nights I haven't been sleeping, up almost every hour wide awake just thinking about them and what it's going to be like having them outside of my belly. The past few weeks has been filled with so many different emotions, one day I'm crying, thinking of how nervous and worried I am about the unknown, and the next I'm beside myself with excitement, feeling so blessed that the Lord has brought us this far and has allowed us to go through this. Jordan and I went out to dinner last night as our last date night before 2 kids, and we were saying how even though this has probably been the toughest few months of our lives so far, we are so grateful that the Lord allowed it to happen, and know He has used it in our lives individually and as a couple, and even more as parents. What better way to bring your babies into the world than being covered with prayer and surrender to the Lord? And that is obviously something that the Lord needed to keep clear in our minds, and wanted us to take very seriously. I can honestly say that I have never felt closer to my husband or seen his selfless love towards me more than these past months. He keeps amazing me with his support for me and our girls, and I know that it is because of what the Lord is doing in his life. I could go on for days looking at how faithful the Lord has already been to us, and the girls aren't even here yet. It excites me so much to see how He is going to use them. Their tiny little bodies are already living testimonies of our great God and all that He is capable of. Thank you Lord.

Jordan and I want to thank each and every one of you for your prayers and support to us, from day one we have felt so many people come around us with so much love and prayer, and we are eternally grateful. Thank you for taking the time out of your precious lives to pray for our little family.

We finally finished the girl's nursery, and all is set except for mattresses for the cribs and a few little odds and ends, but here is a little peek into their new home in a few months...

(a girl always needs a place to hang her favorite hats and headbands)

(a very special friend made this for the girls)

(our last night out as a family of 2!)

Please be in prayer with us tomorrow at 7:30am. That the delivery would go smoothly, that we would hear the loudest cries of our lives as soon as those precious girls come out, and that they would exceed all of the doctors expectations as far as health and development, as they already have. We serve a miracle working God and believe wholeheartedly that our girls will be living proof of that.

"For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from BEFORE my birth; you are he who took me from my mother's womb. My praise is continually of you." Psalm 71: 5-6

it's baby time :)

29 weeks

Last week, I got a package in the mail from California. Since I don't really know anyone in California I was curious to see what was inside. When I opened it I couldn't help but feel so blessed, and I feel like I've overused this phrase in the past few months but, overwhelmed with thankfulness. It really is the only way of describing how the Lord has continually cared for us and shown us His great love through different circumstances, people, and kindness that has been shown to Jordan and I from people we know, and people we don't know.

What I recieved was a package from a woman named Danielle, who has an incredibly beautiful ministry called Knit Together by Love. She bases her ministry on Colossians 2:2 which says "I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love", and her whole focus is prayer. If she hears of someone with a need, she knits them something and as she knits she prays specifically for their needs. (I'm tearing up just thinking about it again). Danielle was told about our circumstances by an incredible friend of mine who has been such a support to me during these past few months. Not only do we have her support in prayer, but she made these for us:

(please disregard the toaster oven that completely ruins the picture:)

2 adorable knit hats for the girls, and a scarf for me. Now every time I see them I am reminded of her kindness and encouragement to us, and what the Lord has brought us through. You can see Danielle's amazing website and find out more about her ministry here: http://daniellesque.blogspot.com/p/knit-together-by-love.html

Thank you, Danielle, your heart is beautiful and we are so encouraged by the way the Lord is using you!!

Our appointment was really encouraging yesterday, thank you to everyone who was praying for us! With only 16 days to go (!!!), we are excited and anxious about meeting our little girls that we feel like we know so well already. Our girls weights are up to 2 lbs 15 ounces (Baby A) and 2 lbs 4 ounces (Baby B), which is really great. Ofcourse we hope they continue to put on as much weight as possible before they are born, but the doctor said that Baby A's weight is on track for what a single baby would be at this stage, and B is definitely a bit smaller, but she has been showing consistent growth, which is amazing considering the lack of nutrition she is getting. He said that B is doing "remarkably well" given her circumstances. I think that was my first "proud mom" moment, hearing that my kid was doing "remarkably well" :) Ofcourse she is, she's a fighter and she has the Lord on her side, the Sustainer and Giver of Life!

Something Jordan and I like a lot about our doctor is that he tells us exactly how it is, good or bad, and doesn't sugar coat things. This is so crucial to us, as we want to know how to prepare and what to be praying for for our girls. He told us yesterday that although both girls are looking pretty good, he expects baby A (the bigger one) to have a harder time after they are born. This seems ironic because all along we have been praying so much especially for B, because she is the one that is lacking more nutrition, growth, etc. The doctor explained that because B has been operating under stress for the past 7 months she has been inside of me, she is used to surviving under stress, and this will actually help her when it comes to being born early at 32 weeks. However, since A has had a pretty "normal" past few months as far as nutrition and growth and blood flow, she has not been used to stress, and being born this early could be tougher for her. We are confident that the Lord will sustain our babies and bring them through this, but please remember to keep her in prayer too. The doctor also looked at both of their hearts, and although he said he wasn't concerned, he found a tiny bit of fluid around Baby A's heart, that wasn't there before. Like I said, he didn't seem overly concerned, but I know it's probably not something that they like to see.

If you are praying, please keep these few things in prayer:

1. For both babies, specificially for B that the Lord would continue to sustain her and give her everything she needs for a safe and healthy delivery. For A, that the fluid around her heart would dissapear, and that she would amaze the doctors at how well she does after delivery.
2. I know it sounds like a little thing, but that both babies would be able to come home with us at the same time. Ofcourse we want them to be in the NICU for however long it takes for them to be healthy, but we would be so happy to have to not separate our babies homecoming.
3. That the Lord would keep Jordan and I healthy through the next few months so that we are able to take care of our babies as much and as best we can.
4. That the Lord would continue to work his miracles and that we'd be able to share His love and goodness with the doctor's and nurses that we come in contact with, especially the ones we've worked closely with for the past few months.

"Believing and trusting are hard work because they involve a surrendering process--a giving up of control...none of us are in control of our world except God, and nothing happens to our loved ones that He doesn't know about." ~Andrea Boeshaar

Update...

What a crazy few weeks it's been....Jordan and I have been busy with doctors appointments and preparing for our baby girls...both stressful and exciting, but mostly exciting!

Last Saturday was my last day of work for a while at the salon. I walked in bright and early to find my chair fully decked out in pink & white balloons and LOTS of them :) The girls had a cake and adorable cookies and made the day so special, I'm so blessed to have so many people that love and support me and I'm so grateful for those girls.

Back when I first decided to start my maternity leave in December, I felt like I'd have so much time to prepare, get things ready, etc, seeing as the girls due date is February 25th. Now because the "due date" has been moved, and with only 3 and a half weeks to go, it seems like the time is going to go by so fast, and to be perfectly honest, I couldn't be more thankful for that. I was talking to my mom yesterday and telling her how happy I am that this part of our journey is coming to an end, and the next part is beginning. Although we are going into their birth with a lot of "what if's" and unknowns, it just gives me so much more peace to know that our babies will be out of my womb, which seems to be a scary and unpredictable place for them, and that we will be able to see them face to face. I keep thinking about what it's going to be like to see them for the first time and I couldn't be more excited to just stare at them for hours.

We had a bit of a crazy day yesterday, with our appointment at 8:30 which is usually only supposed to take about an hour. Needless to say, I didn't leave Albany Med until about 2:30. Here's how it all went down...
We got to our appointment, and let me just say that we had previously made this appointment specifically to see a Dr. that we have been seeing from the beginning, the Chief of MFM at Albany Med, and the one who knows our situation best. So, they call our name for the ultrasound, and the tech who was about to do our ultrasound was one we have had once before. For anyone that knows Jordan and I, we are pretty easy going and willing to give people the benefit of the doubt in most situations. Now this tech is sweet, kind and professional, but it is written all over her face that she is new, and that she doesn't really know 100% of what she is doing yet. When we had her before, she kept mixing up the measurements of Baby A and Baby B, and coincidentally did the same thing this time. I asked the tech if our doctor was going to see us that day, and she said he wasn't available, but that we'd be seeing a newer doctor. As soon as she left the room to get the doctor, I burst into tears. Like I said, in most cases I am willing to give anyone a chance, but when it comes to my babies, who are in an extremely high risk situation, I'm not quite as willing to let things slide.
A few minutes later, the doctor and tech came in, and again, the doctor was very nice and very professional, but she had NO idea about our particular situation, hadn't read any of the notes from our previous appointments, and was more impressed with Jordan than anything because he basically had to teach her about our diagnosis and what the doctors were looking for. Not the most comforting when your husband knows more about the medical situation than the doctor who is supposed to determine if your babies are in distress and ready to be delivered that day or not.
Not to mention that this particular doctor is new at knowing how to scan ultrasounds, so the tech had to walk her through step by step how to get the babies dopplers, and she assured us that their dopplers were both normal. Thank the Lord that Jordan and I have been to enough appointments and have educated ourselves enough that we knew this wasn't true, because although A's has been normal all along, Baby B's has not been "normal" since I can remember, and that's why we're here in the first place.

Fortunately, I had an OB appointment scheduled for after the ultrasound, and a supportive and fired up husband who insisted on staying with me so we could get this all straightened out and hopefully figure out where to go from here. We met with a different OB for my appointment, and she actually knew the background on our case, and felt that it was completely unacceptable that we had not seen our doctor in weeks, and apologized profusely, before Jordan and I even had a chance to say anything. That was definitely the Lord, stepping in and giving us someone who wanted to advocate for us. She immediately left the room and as far as we know, gave the staff a piece of her mind about why we hadn't been in with our doctor for weeks, and why we kept being shuffled between different, new doctors. She came back and said that we would not leave that day without being scanned by our doctor, and that from now on, we will insist to see him, no matter what. What a huge burden lifted off of our shoulders, that someone actually realized the severity of this situation and was on our side. Again, thank you Lord.

The doctor also insisted that we (finally) get a tour of the NICU, which we have been waiting for for about a month, and she got us in within the hour. We met with one of the doctors of the NICU, who was amazing, and pretty much gave us a run down of how things would go right after the girls were born and what to expect for their stay in the hospital. Every question we asked he had an answer for, and gave me so much comfort as a mother because he seemed to really understand my fears and concerns. We were able to go into one of the rooms where the babies were, and I just kept praying that the Lord would help me keep it together and not break down and cry. Thankfully, I did, and seeing those little ones hooked up to all of the monitors and tubes actually gave me some kind of comfort, knowing that they are getting the best care possible, and that our girls will be getting the same thing.

So, after our NICU appointment, we went back to the OB office to get re-scanned with our doctor. He scanned both of them, and did their dopplers, and again said that A's was normal, and B's was intermittently absent, which is how it has been. We are obviously still in prayer that we will go in one of these appointments and B's will be normal as well, but we are grateful that her's is not completely absent or reverse, which is the worst case scenario. God is sustaining her, and we are trusting He is giving her exactly what she needs to thrive and grow into the little girl He wants her to be.

Our doctor said he now wants to see us twice a week (next Monday and Thursday), and wants to start doing non-stress tests to monitor the babies and keep a little of a closer look on them. We set a date for their birthday, a c-section on Friday December 30th, and the doctor said that it is good to have an ending point if the babies make it this far. We are praying and feel at peace that the Lord is going to bring them to this date, and have faith that He will carry us through the next 3 and a half weeks.

On a lighter note, I washed and put away all of the girls adorable clothes today, and Jordan and I have a date to finish their room on Saturday. Pictures will be coming for sure :)

We are so thankful for your prayers, and grateful beyond words for the support that everyone has shown us. Please continue to pray specifically for these things:
1. That the Lord will protect the hearts and brains of our little girls, that every flow of blood between them and to them would be beneficial to their growth and development and not harmful to their little bodies
2. That their lungs would continue to develop as they should and that the steriods would help develop them a little faster than normal so they are able to breathe on their own and not need as much assistance in the NICU
3. That the Lord would bring our little loves to Dec 30th safe and sound, and that surgery and delivery would go smoothly
4. That the doctors would be amazed at how well the babies are doing in and out of the womb, and that there would be no other explanation other than the Lord Jesus protecting them. That we would be able to share His love with everyone we come in contact with through our girls miraculous lives.

Thank you so much! More again soon....