more than sparrows

Eden & Henley

Four Months Old

The only semi-decent picture before meltdown of the century went down in the Hoerl house. Seconds before they both started screaming, I spilled an entire bottle all over the floor, and found a cat hair in Eden's bottle as she was drinking out of it (disgusting.). Hi, welcome to having twins. :)

Eden

9 pounds

Our little "Bean"

Loves to smile, especially when waking up in the morning

Henley

We affectionately call her "The Sleeping Dragon" (Ever heard people say to never wake a sleeping baby? Well, don't.)

10 pounds

Smiles and "talks", she will definitely be the one in need of constant communication :)

(thank you Leah Spina Photography for these two gorgeous shots, we love you:))

It's been four months to the day that we brought our precious chicks home from the hospital. In our wildest dreams, we never expected to be here today. Jordan and I got married over four years ago, and had many conversations about kids and always said, "It would be so fun to have twins". Little did we know the Lord was in on that conversation too and that's exactly what He had planned for us. One baby is a blessing, but TWO?! I remember vividly the first ultrasound we had. I was 12 weeks along, and had mentioned to a few friends and family members that I thought I was having twins. No one took me seriously ofcourse, and I'm not sure if I even took myself seriously. I remember praying in my car on my way to the doctor's office about a few things, and praying specifically that we would be having twins. Jordan and I sat in the waiting room, for what seemed like forever, especially considering I drank approximately a gallon of water prior to the ultrasound (tip to new moms: when they tell you to drink this much before an ultrasound, drink HALF. You will thank me later) so that the tech could see the babies clearly. I was SO uncomfortable and almost in tears, and as soon as they called my name I remember telling the nurse we had to do this NOW because I wasn't going to make it :) I laid down on the table, held Jordan's hand, and we watched the screen with anticipation. One small blob popped up on the screen, then another one popped up on the screen. Being fairly new to the ultrasound experience, neither Jordan or I really knew for sure that the tech had just showed us our two babies. After talking about it later, we realized that we both thought it was a little fishy, and wondered if by chance it could have been twins...but no way....really? After about five minutes, the tech said, "Yup, there's two in there". Jordan just about passed out on the floor and I burst out crying tears of joy. That moment was the beginning of what we knew to be our journey with our two precious babies. We had no idea what the months ahead were going to hold, but we knew the Lord wanted us to have these two babies. HE picked us! Looking back on that day seems so far back, and I can hardly believe they are four months old.

I can remember shortly after we realized the health concerns the girls were facing, one of many times that I broke down in fear and pleaded to the Lord to save my girls lives. I was crumpled up like a ball on my kitchen floor sobbing, begging the Lord to give them every thing they needed to survive. Asking him to spare their lives, and give us mercy.

It brings tears to my eyes still to remember these events in our lives and how God has carried us through what was the biggest challenge of our lives so far. And let me tell you, He definitely asked us to increase our faith in Him, and not only for that time, but for now. Twins are AMAZING, wonderful, fun, exciting, busy and such a blessing. But WOW are they challenging! I look back on all of these events and can't help but think that the Lord was using those things to grow us in patience and faith and to grow our marriage stronger so that we could have a stronger foundation for raising our girls...because we would need it. Have we been through some rocky spots since the girls have been home? Sure. When you mix sleep deprivation, two screaming babies, feeding issues, and being brand new parents, there is no doubt you're going to have some days that don't look too pretty. I think as new parents (and especially us, moms), we sometimes want to come across as the perfect parents, and float along in the bliss of our new baby (or babies), and share only the good with others. I have seen my pride pushed aside in SO many ways since we have brought these babies home, and it is humbling to experience. We have such a need to want to act like we have it all together and do it all ourselves, when in reality, we don't, and we can't. I've come to appreciate the beauty in not "having it all together". Would I love to have a sparkling clean house, dinner on the table, laundry folded and put away, and myself showered and dressed by the time my husband comes home? Ofcourse. Do I find that most days I'm proud of myself if a.) I've showered. b) The dishes are done and c.) MAYBE I took something out of the freezer for dinner (or maybe we're having cereal. again. for the fourth night in a row.) And you know what? That's ok.

I have an amazing, supportive and loving husband who cares more about me and the fact that our girls are taken care of than if he gets a four course dinner or if the floors are mopped. I get to focus my time and energy on enjoying every single second of these precious little ones and soak in their sweetness, because in the blink of an eye it will be gone. I get to thank God every day for sparing their lives and for entrusting them to me and Jordan. I pray that He would give us wisdom on how to raise them and help us to keep the important things in perspective. We're so blessed! I love being a mom....with ALL that goes along with it.

best.job.ever.